2013 By the Numbers

It’s late in the day on January 1st 2014, and I find myself with absolutely no New Year’s resolutions. Other than perhaps finishing this blog post in the next three hours so that it will actually appear on January 1st.

Instead of looking at the new year and setting all sorts of goals, I thought it might be more fun to look back at the old one and come up with some statistics for you. So here I give you my life over the last year by the numbers, in descending order:

  1. 155,588: Number of words written, not counting emails or post-it notes
  2. 6,565: Number of miles traveled by road trip on U.S. soil
  3. 3,300: Number of kilometers traveled by rail in Europe
  4. 1,881: Number of page views of my most-read blog post on Joburg Expat (Of Guns, Manhunts, and Other American Pursuits)
  5. 1,556: Number of pictures taken (way down from our African travel days)
  6. 350: Number of gigabites we used the one month we maxed out our limit
  7. 300: Number of days Jabulani was playing xBox
  8. 195: Number of countries where Joburg Expat was being read
  9. 175: Number of golf balls collected in our yard
  10. 150: Minutes spent taking cover during tornado alerts in our
  11. basement aka Jabulani’s xBox den
  12. 143: Number of orders placed on Amazon.com
  13. 132: Weight in pounds of baseball equipment sent off to Africa
  14. 100: Percentage of correlation between sixth and seventh items on this list
  15. 80: Number of blog posts published
  16. 58: Number of hours spent in passenger seat pressing an imaginary brake acting as driving instructor
  17. 45: Number of carpenter bees exterminated by way of a badminton racket
  18. 12: Price in dollars of a bagel in Switzerland
  19. 10: Number of wonderful new friends made in Brentwood
  20. 7: Number of Female Urination Devices researched (but not tested) in the interest of a good story
  21. 5: Number of different pest control guys assigned to our house, one of whom instructed me in the art of killing a person with my bare hands
  22. 3: Number of car accidents the new car (which we got in September) has been in
  23. 2: Number of tow trucks used
  24. 1: Number of books written
  25. 0: Number of Christmas cards that arrived in South Africa in less than 16 days; also, number of traffic lights we encountered not working

I’ll leave you with all this mostly useless information. If I had kept better count of toilets unclogged, loads of laundry washed, orthodontist visits made, and polite reminders issued to children to clean up their rooms, it might have been even longer. Those would have probably added up to about one bazillion.

Happy 2014 to all of you!

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